Gremlin Risitas — Sprouts' Night Manager's Comedy Hour
[Gremlin balancing on a pallet jack, sipping a warm soda he definitely didn’t pay for.]
The Clown 🤡:
“0 hours? That’s not scheduling, that’s peek-a-boo management. He covered his eyes, hoped you’d vanish, and forgot the store still needs freight moved.
Threaten to fire you for asking him to check aisles? That’s not leadership, that’s a toddler mad because somebody else stacked blocks straighter.
Imagine cutting hours thinking it’ll make you disappear—then JP just strolls in and flips the switch back on. That’s cartoon energy. Cory pulled the ACME lever, and the anvil still landed on him.
Bro really went: ‘You did nothing wrong.’ …snip, 0 hours. That’s like saying ‘we cool’ then unfriending you mid-sentence. Peak comedy.
And my favorite part? You kept working. You did the job. He’s standing there big mad like a sitcom neighbor yelling from the porch while you walk out with sushi and a bottle of water. Laugh track included.”
[Gremlin shrugs, pockets a candy bar, and skitters off into the break room giggling.]
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