🎭 Gremlin Risitas — The Mrs. Smith Protocol
Sprouts, 3 PM. I’m midway through working a pallet down the aisle when she appears — dressed head-to-toe in black, calm, composed, like she just stepped out of the code itself.
Boris: “Are you sure you’re not working for the Matrix?”
Mrs. Smith: laughs “My son tells me the same thing!”
Boris: “You’re so beautiful I had to ask.”
She heads off. Fifteen minutes later, as I’m breaking down boxes, the gremlin brain lights up.
Internal Monologue: “Damn… should’ve said, ‘Don’t make me whip out Neo on you, Mrs. Smith.’”
Cue slow-mo. Grapes shimmer mid-air. The pallet jack hums like a sentinel waiting for orders.
Narration: “And somewhere in the code, an agent blinked.”