Gremlin Risitas — The Thanos Snap (HR Approved Version… barely)
Gremlin clocks in.
Immediately gets hit with:
“Why I got a total freeze?”
Gremlin:
“Talk to your counselor.”
Client:
“They not here.”
Gremlin internally:
“Ah yes… the entire system is on pause until your NPC logs back in.”
💀
Second client spawns like it’s wave defense.
“Hey why I got a total freeze?”
Gremlin:
“Counselor.”
Client:
“But I need to know NOW.”
Gremlin brain:
“You also need patience, but we’re clearly out of stock.”
Third one slides in like a side quest nobody accepted.
“Hey so about my freeze—”
Gremlin:
“No.”
💀
At this point Gremlin standing there like:
“I’m not snapping half the room…”
dramatic pause
“I’m snapping the QUESTION.”
💀💀💀
Because it’s not even the people anymore.
It’s the loop:
- same question
- same tone
- same confusion
- same “but my counselor—”
Gremlin:
“Y’all got patch notes or are we just running Season 1 on repeat??”
Client tries one last time:
“But I just wanna understand—”
Gremlin:
“Understand this: I’m not the tutorial.”
💀
Gremlin walks away thinking:
“I came here to clock in… not to be Google.”
🧾 Final Log
Nobody got snapped. Nobody got yelled at. Nobody got extra information either 😌
Just:
same answer
same wall
same disappointment
🧾 Final Line
I don’t delete people.
I delete conversations that respawn.
— Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand
- Filed under: Feral Compliance / Customer Service Boss Fight
- Doctrine: If the question repeats, so does the shutdown. 🦝🔥