Gremlin Risitas — Un-break My Smex
Tony Braxton slow-mo death ride song begins...
[Gremlin’s then perched on a roof edge, phone light flickering. Tony Braxton wails through cheap earbuds while a replay loop shows Muscle Man on a motorcycle doing the Olympic high jump over a sedan — only to neck-snap into the asphalt.]
Gremlin: “They call it tragic. I call it slow-motion smex — man rode out like a PSA for Darwinism.”
Dept. of Petty Affairs verdicts:
- Jerry: “Six-pack abs, zero helmet. That’s negative situational awareness.”
- Mrs. Catford: “Grace doesn’t save stupidity. Rain songs don’t fix splattered spines.”
- The Clown: “HAHA! A chorus for a corpse — now that’s radio gold!”
[Gremlin finishes: “Un-break my heart? Lady, he broke his neck. Don’t blame God — blame gravity.exe.”]
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