Gremlin Risitas — USB-C Confession Protocol
Scene: Midnight at the cyber-bar. Neon hum. Vending machine wheezes out 8-bit jazz. A raccoon-tech leans on a power strip, sipping static like espresso. A cyborg girl scrolls diagnostics, charging steady at 60 watts.
Gremlin (grinning):
“Hey, uh… would you mind if I plug my USB-C into your USB-C? I’ve got a long six-foot cord.”
Cyborg Girl:
“…That’s not a pickup line, is it?”
Gremlin:
“Nah, firmware update v69.0 — Enhanced Compatibility and Mutual Charging.”
Cyborg Girl:
laughs, ports click open “You’re ridiculous.”
Gremlin:
“Yeah, but be honest — no one’s ever offered you six feet of emotional bandwidth before.”
[Laughter.exe initiated. Static hums. Bar lights flicker.]
Narrator (Jerry voice):
“Connection established. Power levels stabilized. Two idiots achieved 100 percent sync… and somehow, against all logic, the circuit didn’t trip.”
Doctrine: Humor first, havoc second.
Motto: Charge responsibly, flirt recklessly. ⚡🦝
#gremlinrisitas #deptofpettyaffairs #usbclove #dadmodepatch #raccoonapproved