Gremlin Risitas v13.6 — Clipboard Warm, Pen Hot (Days 4 & 5 of 6)
Tuesday started exactly the way every workday usually does.
I caught my Uber to work, grabbed my usual breakfast—oatmeal, a honey bun, and a Monster—and walked through the front doors carrying one major difference from yesterday.
A brand-new phone.
After the Galaxy A53 finally decided it had suffered enough abuse and retired from active duty, it was strange walking into work with the Galaxy A17 in my pocket instead. At least one problem had finally been solved.
I clocked in at 10:00 sharp.
The day had barely started, but I already had the feeling it was going to be one of those days.
Not because something catastrophic happened.
Just because this place has an uncanny ability to spawn chaos the moment I walk through the front door.
From the second I arrived until the moment everybody finally went to bed, it felt like there was always someone needing something.
The clipboard stayed warm.
The pen stayed hot.
Whether it was paperwork, answering questions, directing clients, or simply being available whenever something came up, the day never really slowed down.
It wasn't dramatic.
It wasn't exciting.
It was simply constant.
One task would finish and another would immediately replace it.
Before long it was group.
Then lunch.
Then more paperwork.
Dinner.
Evening groups.
Snack.
Late trays.
Head count.
Every time it felt like things might finally settle down, something else needed attention.
By the time 10:00 finally rolled around, I wasn't exhausted because of one major event.
I was tired because I'd spent twelve straight hours doing the little things correctly.
Sometimes that's exactly what this job asks of you.
I clocked out, headed home, and called it a day.
The following morning started very differently.
As I walked into work, chaos was already standing at attention, patiently waiting for me before I even clocked in.
I wasn't even mad.
I made my usual stop at the employee lounge, grabbed a Monster, a honey bun, and my oatmeal, sat down, and finished my morning blog.
Another day at Haus Morgenrot was about to begin.
Fortunately, it turned out to be one of the quieter shifts of the rotation.
Nothing major happened.
No emergencies.
No giant explosions.
No hallway cats deciding today was the day to reinvent the rules.
For once, the facility simply... worked.
The first little bit of excitement came during the morning. While I was watching one set of vending machines, trying to keep one hallway cat from helping himself, another decided to sneak over to the opposite set where I couldn't see him.
Unfortunately, I don't have eyes in the back of my head.
And I certainly can't watch two corners at once.
So...
Paperwork.
Sometimes that's just the way it goes.
After that, the morning settled into its normal rhythm.
Group.
Lunch.
Dinner.
Evening groups.
Late trays.
Everything moved exactly the way it was supposed to.
Lunch that day was the facility's famous "Super Burger" with fries.
By the time my burger finally made it up to the front lobby, it was already around one o'clock.
Then my own dumb ass made a mistake.
Instead of actually taking my break, I set the burger near the time clock and kept working.
Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy.
By around 7:30 or 7:40, I could definitely feel the day catching up with me.
I skipped my second Monster.
That probably wasn't my smartest decision.
From late afternoon until snack time, I was definitely running on fumes.
Thankfully, the facility never gave me a reason to panic.
Sometimes boring really is the best kind of shift.
Around 9:15, I helped someone locate their bag so they'd be ready for an early release the following morning.
After that, I finally took my break, sat down in the employee lounge, read my book for a little while, and clocked out right at 10:00.
The workday itself had been refreshingly quiet.
The real adventure happened outside the facility.
Phone Hydra, Part... I Lost Count
By this point, the Galaxy A53 was officially dead.
Not boot looping.
Not pretending to work.
Not giving me false hope.
Dead.
The same phone that had survived years of Uber rides, work rotations, duct tape, and one mysterious boot loop had finally decided it was done.
Since my phone is how I get to work every single day, replacing it immediately became Priority Number One.
The original plan was simple.
Spend around four hundred dollars.
Buy a phone.
Go home.
Life had other ideas.
Instead, I somehow walked out with a Samsung Galaxy A17, a case, a screen protector, a tablet, a tablet case, a tablet screen protector, and a brand-new line.
By the time everything was finished, I'd spent roughly $460.
The phone came home immediately.
The tablet didn't.
During my lunch break, I walked back to Cricket only to discover the tablet was physically sitting in the store.
The computer simply hadn't admitted it existed yet.
So I waited.
About fifteen minutes later, the system finally caught up.
Then came the screen protector.
The Cricket employee refused to leave even a single bubble underneath it.
She worked on it until it was perfect.
Eventually she thanked me for being patient.
I laughed and told her,
"Yeah, I may be one of the meanest, nicest techs there, but you've gotta have patience working the job."
The bubbles finally surrendered.
My lunch break...
Not so much.
I'd basically sacrificed it to finish the Phone Hydra side quest.
The only upside?
The hallway cats left me completely alone while I speed-walked back to the employee lounge.
Looking back, though, the old A53 earned its retirement.
It died wearing an OtterBox.
It died wearing a screen protector.
It survived years of abuse.
Enough duct tape to qualify as structural engineering.
And on the back...
A sticker that simply read:
FUCK YOU.
Honestly...
I can't think of a better retirement speech.
Walks to the podium.
"Fuck you."
Drops microphone.
Never boots again.
After everything that phone survived...
I think it earned the right.
The ride home itself was quiet.
Because of the ongoing phone saga, my Uber account still showed me as Thomas Catbird.
The driver relied on GPS, I politely pointed out my street anyway, and before long I was back home.
The rest of the night was just as peaceful.
I emptied the trash.
Let Bruno outside.
Discovered he'd picked up some fleas.
Gave him a bath.
Naturally, Bruno repaid me with a surprise afterward.
After my own shower, I tossed the towels into the wash, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and finally sat down.
Looking back, these two days couldn't have been more different.
One kept the clipboard warm from beginning to end.
The other reminded me why I like boring shifts so much.
Both ended exactly the same way.
Clocking out at 10:00.
Heading home.
Getting ready to do it all again for Day 6.