Gremlin Risitas v4.3 — The “Directive Collapse & Controlled Fury Protocol” (Day 3)
Mr. Bob’s Bakery — Dept. of Petty Affairs · Pressure Cooker Division
Look…
🧾 Step 0 — The Ride-In Omen
Gremlin calls Uber.
Truck pulls up.
Speed: questionable Energy: off
Gremlin:
“Cool. Let’s get through this.”
Asks for music.
Driver complies.
Good.
Driver then tries:
“It’s gonna be a peaceful day, huh?”
Gremlin:
silence
Wrong turn gets taken.
GPS corrects it.
Gremlin logs:
“Of course it did.”
Gets dropped early.
Walks the rest.
Uniform on.
🧾 Step 1 — Loud NPC Spawn
Immediately greeted by:
🧾 Ms. Thingamabob — Volume 100, Awareness 3
Happy you’re there.
Gremlin:
😐
Walks past.
Straight to employee lounge.
Silence.
🧾 Step 2 — The Deadbolt Paradox
Task:
“Put item in hot box.”
Gremlin goes to room.
Finds:
🔒 Deadbolt locked
Translation:
“Nobody from 6 AM to now bothered to check this.”
Gremlin searches for help.
Mr. Dill Weed appears:
“What are you doing?”
Gremlin:
“Trying to unlock this.”
Shows deadbolt.
Outcome?
Restriction unlocked instead
“You are no longer allowed to deal with the hot box.”
💀
Gremlin:
“Yes sir.”
Internal log:
“Task denied successfully.”
🧾 Step 3 — Lunch Room Suppression Protocol
Directive:
“Keep them quiet. Make them eat and leave.”
Reality:
This is the only time they get to talk.
Gremlin:
“Be quiet.”
(used sparingly)
Result?
Room calms.
Temporarily.
Gremlin logs:
“Control applied. Humanity reduced.”
🧾 Step 4 — The Break That Triggered Authority
Gremlin:
- finishes flow ✔
- grabs food ✔
- announces break ✔
Returns.
Gets pulled into office.
Charges:
- left post early
- didn’t wait for replacement
Gremlin:
apologizes absorbs moves on
No write-up.
Internal:
“Noted.”
🧾 Step 5 — The Lunch Timing Breakdown
Later…
Tech misses scheduled lunch.
Another tech (newer, sharper):
“It’s 2:25. I was supposed to go at 2.”
Mr. Dill Weed:
suddenly cooperative
Gremlin:
watching this unfold like: “So it can be fixed…”
🧾 Step 6 — The 3PM Line in the Sand
Gremlin hits 3 PM.
Leaves.
No delay.
No negotiation.
Returns at 4 PM exactly.
Doctrine active:
“My time is my time.”
🧾 Step 7 — The Compliance Escalation Directive
6 PM group ends.
New order drops:
“Non-compliance anyone trying to leave.”
Gremlin:
“…not today.”
Logs it.
Stores it.
🧾 Step 8 — The Event Collapse
7 PM → break → return.
Some late.
Handled.
Then:
🧾 Ms. Dill Weed attempts to control 250 people
Result:
failure
Movie?
Canceled.
Snacks?
Gone.
Clients:
🔥
Gremlin:
😐
🧾 Step 9 — The “Where’s Your 20?” Moment
Gremlin leaves post to assist:
- UA ✔
- client movement ✔
Gets hit with:
“Where are you?”
Gremlin responds.
Still not enough.
Gets called in.
🧾 Step 10 — The Office (Again)
Gremlin already knows:
office = paperwork
Response?
immediate apology no argument no explanation
Outcome:
📄 Documentation (not a write-up… but close enough)
Reason?
“You need to be more likable.”
💀
Gremlin:
😐
Speech given about:
- clients not liking staff
- perception
- control
Gremlin listens.
Says nothing.
Then, at the end:
“Say anything you want.”
Gremlin:
pauses
Then:
“Stop eating bacon.”
💀💀
Room breaks.
Laughter.
Tension gone.
Gremlin exits.
🧾 Step 11 — Final Stretch
Back to front lobby.
Holding line.
Client tries to sneak in.
Gremlin:
“Back to your room.”
Handled.
Waits.
9:45–9:47.
Cleans up.
Takes trash out.
🧾 Step 12 — Exit Protocol
10:00 PM.
Clock out.
No hesitation.
No overtime bleed.
🧾 FINAL BOSS — HOME (DAY 3 VARIANT)
Return home.
- dishes done ✔
- supplies low ✔
- house stable ✔
Gremlin:
- resets kitchen ✔
- resets self ✔
- lets dog out ✔
- showers ✔
Logs everything.
🧾 Final Log — Day 3
- authority pressure ✔
- contradiction escalation ✔
- emotional bait ✔
- system instability ✔
Gremlin response:
- calm ✔
- controlled ✔
- compliant (strategically) ✔
- intact ✔
🧾 Doctrine Stamp
You don’t win by arguing with the system… you win by not letting it change how you operate.
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand
Tribunal Chair · Dept. of Petty Affairs
🦝 “They pushed. I didn’t move.”