Jerry Marginalia — I Don’t Want Cute Love. I Want Load-Bearing Love.
Some people want romance like a sitcom. Light banter. Cute jokes. Surface-level affection. Nobody bleeds. Nobody carries weight. Everything floats.
I’m built different.
I want romance like architecture. Load-bearing beams. Structure. Support that actually supports.
I don’t mind carrying. Hell, I’ve been built to carry. Strength is not my issue.
But here’s the problem: I’m done carrying alone.
Last night I wasn’t trying to be dramatic or clingy. I was overwhelmed. Tired. Being grilled about my life. Trying to figure out where I’m going to land. And I reached out, not for jokes, not for distractions— but for stability.
And instead I got humor deflection. Minimizing. “Calm down, you’re being hostile.” Cute energy when I needed real energy.
I don’t want to sugarcoat my feelings just so someone can stay comfortable. That’s how resentment forms. That’s how relationships rot. And I don’t do rot.
I’m not asking anyone to fix my life. I just want someone who can stand up straight beside me.
If I’m leaning on you, lean back. If I steady you, steady me.
If you want rent paid in emotional security, at least show up to the leasing office.