Jerry’s Marginalia — The Radical Act of Just Doing Your Damn Job
There is apparently a dangerous new workplace ideology spreading throughout America.
It is called:
Showing up. Doing the assigned job. Going home.
Experts are terrified.
I had mistakenly believed employment worked something like this:
Employer: “Here are your duties.”
Employee: “Okay.”
Employer: “Please perform them.”
Employee: “Okay.”
Employer: “Here is money.”
Employee: “Excellent. See you tomorrow.”
Apparently this model was discontinued sometime around the invention of company culture.
Now you must demonstrate initiative.
What is initiative?
Nobody knows.
It may involve helping another department. It may involve taking ownership. It may involve anticipating needs. It may involve completing optional side quests given to you by a hallway cat who spotted you from forty yards away and decided that your visible possession of a company shirt means you control the entire building.
I attempted another strategy.
Competence without enthusiasm.
This was apparently even more suspicious.
I showed up on bad days.
I showed up when I was tired.
I showed up when the building was chaos.
I performed the assigned tasks.
I documented things.
I enforced rules.
I attempted to become so boring that management would eventually forget I existed and direct-deposit money into my bank account twice a month out of habit.
Instead, I discovered an important principle of modern employment:
You cannot achieve invisibility by standing in a hallway.
Eventually somebody will find you.
A supervisor.
A client.
A coworker.
A wandering human side quest.
Or the COO.
And somebody will ask:
“Can you do more?”
Jerry's answer remains:
I can.
This is frequently confused with:
I would like to.
These are separate concepts.
And so perhaps manufacturing is next.
Steel seems reasonable.
Steel does not become offended because you told it to report to the appropriate person.
A pallet does not file a grievance.
A torque specification does not tell management that it interpreted your wrenching differently.
If the blueprint says four bolts and I install three, there is an observable problem:
Where is the fourth fucking bolt?
Beautiful.
Objective.
Boring.
I can work with that.
— Jerry “The Ankle-Biter” Silverhand
Marginal note: If the fourth bolt files a grievance, I am leaving the workforce entirely. 🌵