Jerry's Marginalia — The Warrior, The Princess, and The Fraud Goblin
Researchers began the day with a simple objective:
Purchase video game.
Historical records indicate this should have taken approximately three minutes.
Researchers were once again overly optimistic.
📋
Warrior selects:
Slay the Princess
Fraud Goblin immediately materializes.
This is considered suspicious.
🦝
Verification procedures commence.
Warrior provides:
- Identification
- Explanation
- Cooperation
- Patience
Fraud Goblin requests:
Name Match.
Warrior explains:
"That name was created by an EverQuest Paladin approximately twenty years ago."
Fraud Goblin remains unmoved.
📋
Researchers discover a fundamental truth:
Bureaucracy cannot be defeated by lore.
💀
Princess purchase is slain.
Refund acquired.
Warrior suffers moderate psychic damage.
The Unexpected Twist
Five minutes later.
Warrior purchases an Anime Waifu Rhythm Game using the exact same PayPal account.
Transaction succeeds instantly.
Fraud Goblin is nowhere to be found.
📋
Researchers spend several hours attempting to understand this.
Results remain inconclusive.
Official cause recorded as:
"Because computer."
On Broken Women
During recovery from combat operations, Warrior reflects upon a separate mystery.
Why do people wish to save damaged souls?
Researchers determine:
Most do not seek damage.
They seek:
- Connection
- Understanding
- Purpose
- Someone worth protecting
Unfortunately, reality continues to insist that every person must carry their own backpack.
📋
Many White Knights have discovered this fact the hard way.
Final Status
Princess: Alive 👑
Fraud Goblin: Victorious ⚔️
Anime Rhythm Waifu: Acquired 🎵
Refund: Processed 💰
Warrior: Amused 😆
Wisdom: +1
🦝💀
Marginal Note:
Some days teach important lessons.
Some days provide excellent stories.
Occasionally, a day is kind enough to do both.
📋⚡
End of Report.