🧾 Jerry’s Marginalia — Wild File #002
Title: The Fruits Basket Emotional Damage Assessment
Findings:
- Curse? Arbitrary.
- Tragedy? Efficient.
- Trauma? Premium grade, aged in oak barrels for maximum punch.
- Logic? Replaced with violins.
- Kyo? Folded like a Dollar Store lawn chair in Texas wind conditions.
Alternative Proposal (Your Version):
- Boy gets spine
- Saves mom
- Takes exile like a champ
- Still meets Tohru
- Story becomes rebellion instead of therapy
Canon Response:
“No. We choose feelings.”
Then they poured guilt into a blender and served it as a narrative smoothie.
Stamp:
✔️ Certified LOL Tragedy — May Contain Melodrama and Zodiac Residue.