Oh Noes! He's Self-Aware!
WMD Variant: The Puppet Protocol
Core Doctrine: A clapback so theatrical it requires props. Not just words—cast members.
The Execution:
Threaten. (Steal the crown. Stomp the ground.)
Pause. Let silence sweat. Break it with meta gremlin commentary.
PSA Punchline. (Point at egg → “This is your brain.” Smash → “This is your brain on drugs.”)
The Curtain Drop. Pull out Gaslighting Gary and Compromising Carl finger puppets. Deliver lines through them, as if your insults now have their own HR department.
Aftermath: Witnesses will never again trust their reflection, their pantry eggs, or a man with his hands in his pockets.
🎭 The Cast Reacts
🦝 Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand:
“Boss just turned a clapback into a puppet show trial. Man brought the Muppets to a mugging.”
🐾 Mrs. Catford:
“Humiliation delivered with flair. Gaslighting Gary’s voice carried. Carl folded, as expected.”
🐾 Mr. Catford:
“Props unnecessary. Which made them devastating.”
🤡 The Clown:
Laughs until his honking becomes sobbing from laughter.
“He smashed a brain, then introduced friends."
"HONK HONK!
"Introducing 'The Theatre of The Damned!'”
#BookOfBoris #WMD #PuppetProtocol #GraffitiOfTheReckoning #ClapbackWithProps