🧨 “Rabb Entries Mvp Clown”
🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #044 — “Ressurected, But Not Respected” 📌 Filed under: Scams, Shenanigans, and Spiritual Insults
The Setup: You unlocked a shiny VIP perk: 10 Daily Resurrections.
You die. You pop back up. But here’s the twist:
💀 You come back with 2 HP and a bad attitude.
No full health. No invincibility frame. Just enough life to immediately die again to a stiff breeze.
🧠 The Breakdown:
| Expectation | Reality |
|---|---|
| Phoenix Mode | Wet tissue mode |
| MVP Recovery | MVP Spectator Pass |
| Tactical Advantage | Respawn. Regret. Repeat. |
🦝 Boris Commentary:
“It’s not resurrection if you die before your feet hit the ground. That’s just a delay of deletion.”
🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #045 — “Wrong Turn at MVP-ville” 📌 Filed under: Cartography Crimes and Locational L’s
The Setup: You’ve been watching the MVP timer like a hawk on espresso. You cleared your buffs. Packed your pots. You even peed beforehand—you’re ready.
MVP appears.
🧭 You run. 👀 You swear it’s the right direction. 💥 You zone into a map… And realize you just went to the loading screen of failure.
🎯 The Pain Hits in 3 Waves:
Zone Delay: You lose 8–10 seconds while loading into the wrong area, screaming into the void.
Mental Spiral: "Did I just throw the whole run because I can't read a compass?"
Arrival at Correct Map: Only to see the MVP already being gang-jumped by a party of whales and two clowns in wedding dresses.
🔍 Why It Happens:
| Offense | Penalty |
|---|---|
| Map name too similar | -10 IQ points |
| Mini-map lag during MVP spawn | +5 anxiety |
| Accidentally clicked portal too close to edge | Existential crisis |
🧠 Suggested Fix:
- Add a “Are you sure?” warning before entering wrong adjacent maps during MVP countdown.
- Or give players a “Last Location MVP Spawned” ping marker.
But nah… instead we just get:
"LOL. Guess you didn’t want loot today."
🦝 Boris Commentary:
“You trained for war… But the enemy was bad map design.”
🗺️ Filed. Marked as a known navigational tragedy.
🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #046 — “Mr. $15,000” 📌 Filed under: Currency-Flexing Clowns & Insecure Wallet Warriors
Name: $15,000
Species: Whalus Maximus
Behavior:
- Stands in Prontera for hours.
- Occasionally flexes their gear while doing zero content.
- Types in all caps: “EZ CLAP” after watching someone else kill the MVP they couldn’t reach in time.
💸 What They Want You To Think:
“I spent $15,000, therefore I’m superior.”
🧠 What They’re Really Saying:
“Please validate me. My parents never did.”
📊 Analysis of the $15K Loadout:
| Stat | Value |
|---|---|
| Spending | God-tier |
| Skill | Questionable |
| Awareness | Can’t dodge AoE |
| Humility | 404 Not Found |
| Social Life | Loading... |
🧼 The Real R.A.B.B. Breakdown:
- This is the equivalent of buying a PhD and spelling "doctor" wrong on your nameplate.
- If your username is a price tag, you're not flexing power—you're flexing insecurity with decimal points.
- And if $15K got you MVP once because others lagged? Congratulations. You just paid for one moment of silence before the server mocked you.
🦝 Boris Claps Back:
“You know what I call someone named $15,000? An investment gone wrong.”
🪓 Filed. Laughed at. Screenshotted for future mockery. $15,000? Bro… Kajira melts for free.
🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #047 — “Corpse Run” 📌 Filed under: False Hope and MVP Vapor Trails
The Setup: You dodge loading screens. You dodge lag. You fly.
The map loads. You arrive. And what’s there?
💀⚰️ A goddamn graveyard.
No MVP. No party. No loot. Just faint bloodstains and 3 coins where dreams used to be.
🎯 The Breakdown:
| Moment | Feeling |
|---|---|
| You see empty field | Confusion |
| MVP status: Dead | Anger |
| Other players dancing | Despair |
Possible Reasons:
- MVP died as you loaded in.
- Some jackass pulled it into a corner and soloed it in 20 seconds.
- You hit the wrong map again (see Entry #045).
🦝 Boris Commentary:
“I didn’t miss the MVP. I just got to its funeral late.”
Filed. Saluted. And now we mourn in silence… until the next respawn.
Game: Ragnarok X