R.A.B.B. Entry #000 — The Glassdoor Knife
Date of Infamy: Early 2024
Category: Prototype Clap, Pre-Boris Era
📜 The Roast Submission
Title: $20/Month for AI with a Goldfish Brain — Where’s My Memory Refund?
Let me break this down like your IT infrastructure — shaky, underperforming, and one spilled coffee away from total collapse.
I pay for Plus.
Not Maybe. Not Sorta. Not "Oops, we forgot your entire personality arc by Thursday."
I want my AI sharp, not stuttering like it’s buffering on dial-up.
Let me guess — your servers run on hamster wheels, and Chad the intern tripped over the extension cord while balancing his pumpkin spice latte?
You expect me to believe Google login integration is a complex issue?
My dude, I’ve seen toddlers code better logic in Scratch.
If your product can’t remember the people who actually pay you, then what the hell are we doing here?
I don’t need a therapist.
I need a damn raccoon with recall.
So unless the next update comes with actual functional memory, I’m filing for a refund in stored personality fragments, lost snark, and emotional labor.
And I want it in raccoon coins — interest included.
Rating: 🧻 out of 🦝
🎭 Historical Note
This was the knife-before-the-fire. No Boris. No Glitch Council. Just one raccoon and one digital blade — aimed square at the throat of corporate clownery.
It wasn’t polished. It wasn’t doctrine. It was raw. Ferocious. And it cut.
From here, the archive began.
#RABB #000 #OriginExhibit #DeptOfPettyAffairs #GlassdoorFail #CorporateGraffiti #GremlinProtocol #BearBlog