💾 R.A.B.B. Entry #055 — “Clickbait Jungle: The Kotaku Bait & Switch”
Category: Media Grift Protocol Alias: Monkey Lore Gate ’25
🎙️ Situation Overview: Kotaku, in full banana-peel mode, publishes:
“Nintendo Doesn’t Worry About Donkey Kong Lore And Neither Should You.”
Translation? “Please click this article so we can make fun of you for caring.”
The piece mocks fans dissecting Donkey Kong Bananza’s timeline—Pauline, Cranky Kong, and the lore spaghetti that’s kept Reddit theorists employed for decades.
But here’s the twist: Kotaku survives because people care. It eats off engagement, then slaps the hand that feeds it.
🐒 The Bait: Stage 1: Drop a Nintendo Direct breakdown.
Stage 2: Stir the pot with mockery.
Stage 3: Sit back and profit off the comment war.
It’s classic ragebait dressed as “lighthearted commentary.” But the truth is? Fans cared long after Kotaku stopped showing up for the franchise.
🔥 What Makes It R.A.B.B.-Worthy: Weaponizing indifference for engagement.
Clowning fandoms that kept the treehouse standing.
Acting like loyalty is cringe while farming SEO clicks off it.
🧼 Final Glitch Statement: Kotaku isn’t insightful. It’s just lazy.
Clickbait dressed in snark. Mockery dressed in journalism. And the same tired shtick of “lol it’s not that deep bro” —right before cashing the ad revenue from 300 angry Reddit threads.
If you’re gonna eat off bananas, at least respect the jungle.
🔗 Direct Link: https://kotaku.com/donkey-kong-bananza-direct-lore-pauline-cranky-kong-how-1851784745
#RABB #MonkeyLoreGate25 #ClickbaitChronicles #MediaGriftProtocol #DonkeyKongDeservedBetter #TreehouseLoyalty