🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #084 — The Dead Rat Duo (and Friends)

24 Jul, 2025

I thought I was being clever. $30 for two extra rats? Easy win, right? Wrong. I bought two corpses with USB cables.

The Vortex ZG65s?

• No boot.
• No flicker.
• Not even a pity vibration when plugged in. These things weren’t phones—they were born as plastic regrets.

Meanwhile, the Real Rats Run the Show:

• Rat #1 (TCL 40 SE — Archer/Ranger): 7,409,000 Zenny at level 21. A farming machine that prints gold like a kingpin.
• Rat #2 (Galaxy A02 — Priest): Crackling, lying piece of silicon from eBay, but still hauling 168k Zenny at level 11 even after the server roulette screwjob.

The dead rats? They’re just background noise compared to this empire.

The Cost of Being Cheap:

For the price of three dungeon resets or a Valk coin buy-in, I bought:

• 1 dead Coolpad ($1 ecoATM value)
• 1 Nokia C300 ($4 value)
• 2 Vortex ZG65 corpses ($2 total)
• $30 worth of regret and two cables.

The Lesson:

"Never trust a rat that can’t squeak." If a phone can’t even attempt to charge, it’s not “as-is,” it’s DOA garbage.

Dept. of Petty Affairs Stamp: "I could have topped up three times. Instead, I funded a funeral for two phones I never met."

Jerry’s Verdict: “These phones didn’t die on the job—they were born retired.”

#RABB #DeadRatDuo #ZenyEmpire #PettyAffairs #BookOfBoris