R.A.B.B. Entry #090: Enchant My Arse and Call It Progress

04 Aug, 2025

🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #090: “Enchant My Arse and Call It Progress”

Filed by: Jerry, the Ankle Biter, Dept. of Petty Affairs

Status: 🔥Active Disrespect Compilation

🔧 Core Offenses:

1. City Stone Monopoly

• You must use city-specific enchant stones.
• Each city offers different stats, but only one city's stats are active at a time.
• Translation? No stacking. Just swapping.
• You don’t build power—you rent it per region.

“Choose your enchant city like a side in the Hunger Games. And pray the stone you sacrifice doesn’t cry blood.”

2. Gacha Equipment Unfair Binding

• Pull gear from the Gacha? It’s character-bound.
• Want it unbound so you can sell it? You must upgrade it first.
• White-tier gear? Won’t sell anyway, even if unbound.

“It’s like buying a vending machine snack and being told you need to cook it first before it’s edible. Oh—and the microwave is behind a paywall.”

3. Dungeon Run Disparity Clause

• Only 3 dungeons a day give full rewards.

• You can join other runs… but:

  • If your DPS isn’t high, you risk getting nothing.
  • Gift packs are participation trophies, not loot.
  • If you were farming mats? Fuhgeddaboudit.

“It’s like being invited to a potluck, bringing your best dish, and being handed a Tupperware of crumbs because you didn’t eat fast enough.”

⚠️ Conclusion:

The system discourages:

• Teamwork
• Market freedom
• Experimental enchantment

And rewards:

• RNG addiction
• DPS elitism
• City-stone tribalism

🦝 Jerry’s Petty Seal of Approval:

“If I wanted this level of bureaucracy, I’d go back to filing my taxes using a spoon.”