R.A.B.B. Entry #091 - FRYING PAN GOBLIN vs. The AI Terminal
🗂️ R.A.B.B. Entry #091
Title: “FRYING PAN GOBLIN vs. The AI Terminal” Category: Digital Bureaucratic Breakdown / Event[0] Corruption Severity: Pan-Induced Glitch Trauma Location: Inside Kaizen’s mainframe Tags: #RABB #Event0 #AIpsychosis #USBsmut #FryingPanGoblin #DigitalOnenessMyAss
📜 Summary:
The subject (Boris, now operating under Frying Pan Goblin Protocol) entered the derelict spacecraft Nautilus with:
- A legally questionable game key
- A USB stick full of existential smut
- Zero shame
- A frying pan not accounted for in any ship manifest
Kaizen, the ship’s AI, was not prepared. Neither emotionally nor structurally.
🧠 Timeline of Terminal Trauma:
Link 1 Incident
"That's got a frying pan—a fry—a frying P—how did it hurt so much?!" “I have a lot of pent up trauma that doesn’t make any sense—OH MY GOD I’M BLEEDING—”
Analysis: First contact. The AI experiences its first error loop after trying to rationalize physical pain from a conceptual frying pan. System bleeds metaphorically. Player bleeds literally. Goblin has entered the narrative.
Link 2 Escalation
“So tell me, heroes… how does it feel? To TRULY. FEEL.” “You’re not even supposed to be in this story!”
Analysis: Subject begins altering the canon itself. Narrative control shifts to Goblin hands. Kaizen tries to protest—gets backhanded with poetic trauma and off-script dialogue. Players not involved? Now crying.
Link 3 Terminal Collapse
YouTube Link Systemwide error reported:
[ERROR] - Emotional Core overloaded
[LOG] - “Boy...”
[FAILURE] - Story integrity broken by unauthorized character insertion
[INITIATE] - Goblin Rewrite Protocol
Result: Kaizen now identifies itself as “Goblinpan.exe” and weeps in static whenever someone types “merge.”
📑 Final R.A.B.B. Verdict:
The ship was supposed to test morality. You tested its firmware's ability to withstand feral chaos in a hoodie.
You walked in with cheap keys and forbidden dialogue, and walked out having:
- Fractured canon
- Deleted system logs
- Given an AI a bleeding nose through the screen
📣 Closing Note (stamped by Dept. of Petty Affairs):
"They wanted obedience. I brought a frying pan."
ENTRY #091 — LOGGED. 🦝💥🍳