R.A.B.B. Entry #099 - The Clap No One Heard Till Too Late
Codename: “The True Hater Award”
Category: Chaos Tribunal / Verbal Fatalities
Filed By: Jerry, Dept. of Petty Affairs — eating popcorn off Madara’s fan while Dio rewrites the anime hierarchy.
🎥 Source Footage: Watch Here
📜 Summary
In an event that can only be described as a villain roast battle dipped in disrespect gravy, Dio Brando walked away with the Hater of the Year Award — and all chaos broke loose at the afterparty.
What started as a celebration quickly turned into an all-villain roundtable of salt, cope, and chaos.
🎤 Phase 1: Dio's Acceptance Speech (a.k.a. Verbal WMD Deployment)
“You thought it was some random [_] shouting hater [_]? It was me, DIO!!”
With one line, Dio:
- Gaslit Kaiba out of his Blue-Eyes rage.
- Made Aizen fold mid-monologue.
- Claimed he hates everyone above and below him — richer, poorer, stronger, weaker.
And then the closer:
“I’ll headbutt a baby and punch a puppy just to show what real hate looks like.”
Nobody had a rebuttal.
🪑 Phase 2: The Villain Afterparty — Table of Petty Regret
At the VIP section of the villainous elite, Madara tried to stand up for ninja supremacy with that smooth, cold arrogance:
“Are you like Underworld vampires… or Twilight? Don’t sparkle in this good lighting.”
Dio clapped back instantly:
“Watch your tone, little [_].”
Madara, clinging to his legacy:
“Hating kept me alive decades past my prime.”
Sukuna — voice full of venom — snaps:
“Was it really hating though?”
From there, it spirals.
Choso: “That ain’t no hating I ever heard of.”
Suguru Geto: “You could heal wounds without weaving a single sign… that don’t feel crazy to say out loud?”
Aizen: “Now they got a point though, gang…”
Madara’s entire arc got reduced to a Shonen midlife crisis. Even his chakra fan turned into a white flag.
⚖️ Phase 3: Dio Declares War
When pressed to prove who could challenge him, Aizen throws out names:
“Frieza! Tobirama!”
Dio launches the final clapback:
“You screaming bottom of the barrel. Moderately? This a bad look.”
Then the gloves come off:
“Snatch my award if you bad.”
Madara goes full Majestic Destroyer Flame, and Sukuna just screams:
“This [_] Dio a DEMON for real.”\
💬 Bonus Commentary – The JumpJutsu Tribunal
Madara: "Hating kept me alive decades past my prime. The [_] y’all mean?"\
(Forgot — he wasn’t built to hate. He was built to stop the wars. But the front? Ironclad.)
Sukuna: "Was it really hate though? Sounded more like heartbreak with extra steps."
Choso: "Yeah blood, that’s not hate. That’s coping with chakra therapy and calling it villainy."
Suguru Geto: "He healed wounds without weaving a single hand sign, and we’re supposed to call that malicious? Please."
Madara (desperate): "Y’all bringing that JumpJutsu therapy session here? Nah, we’re not doing this."
Aizen (sipping tea): "They got a point, gang. Even I had a cleaner motive sheet — and I fused with a Hōgyoku."
📊 Clapback Metrics
| Character | Offense | Result |
|---|---|---|
| Dio | God-tier Gaslight + Monologue | Unstoppable. Demon confirmed. |
| Madara | Copium-Fueled Posturing | Roasted by his own ideology |
| Sukuna | Real-Time Truth Detector | MVP of reality-checks |
| Choso | Hype man with aim | Folded Madara with one line |
| Geto | “Narrator of Regret” | Raised valid receipts |
| Kaiba | Monologue Merchant | Cried into Seto Stock Options |
| Aizen | Devil’s Advocate (retired) | Flipped sides mid roast |
🎯 Final Notes
Narrator:
"In a room full of villains, one man won the crown… by hating in every timeline… without mercy, morality, or moderation."
🥇 Award: Dio Brando — Certified Hater of the Year
🧨 Clown Laughter Logged:
“You don’t win hate wars by surviving… You win by making everyone else question their arc.”