R.A.B.B. Entry #101 - Your Life Is A Failure, and So Are You
Filed by: Jerry “The Ankle Biter,” Dept. of Petty Affairs
With pawprint approval from: Mr. & Mrs. Catford 🐾
📜 Charge: Selective Emotion Branding
The system, in its infinite bureaucratic brilliance, decided that Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) deserves a marketing package with colorful graphics, a checklist, and even a cute acronym—like depression just got a seasonal latte special.
Meanwhile, “happiness” is waved off with “well, that’s just a feeling”, as if joy couldn’t possibly cause disruption, missed work, or rash decisions like buying a jet ski in February.
🐾 Mr. Catford’s Observation:
“This is classic emotional gatekeeping. Package the bad mood, monetize the cure. Package the good mood? Nah, let people crash on their own time.”
🐾 Mrs. Catford’s Swipe:
“They really made depression look like a brunch menu. Half expect it to say ‘served with your choice of mimosa or tea.’”
🎭 The Clown’s Public Service Announcement:
“So let me get this straight…
You brand sadness like a subscription service—same time every year, comes with bullet points and a treatment plan.
But happiness? Nah. That’s just ‘normal.’
Oh, I get it. S.A.D. sells lamps, meds, and therapy hours.
H.A.P.P.Y.?
That sells nothing. Can’t bill for joy unless it’s in a pill bottle.
Here’s your reminder: the system doesn’t care if you’re happy—it just cares if you’re profitable.
The rest of it? That’s a punchline I’m saving for later.”
📌 Verdict:
- Peak bureaucratic inconsistency.
- Acknowledging one human mood as a diagnosable seasonal affliction while another gets ignored because it doesn’t fit the treatment billing model.
The Dept. of Petty Affairs hereby marks this entry with a Permanent Petty Flag and sends it to the archive for future mockery.
🎭 The Clown’s Statement:
“They’ll hate you because you don’t march, you don’t preach, you don’t rally. You walk in, look at their shiny fortress, and start tapping the walls like you’re checking for termites.
Then, instead of building an army or giving speeches… you lean on one corner—just enough for their own weight to do the rest.
They’ll call you dangerous, unhinged, a menace. Not because you burned anything down, but because you proved the whole thing was already hollow.
And here’s the part they’ll never forgive: you’ll smile while it falls.”
📌 Cross-Reference:
See also: R.A.B.B. Entry #099 — The Clap No One Heard Till Too Late for the “If you’re gonna hate, do it with style” precedent that inspired The Clown’s Public Service Announcement in this case.
#PettyAffairs #GlitchCouncil #RABB #TheClownSpeaks #EmotionalGatekeeping