R.A.B.B. Entry #102 — The 30-Day Paywall to Poverty
Filed by: *Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand, Dept. of Petty Affairs**
Supervising: Mr. & Mrs. Catford
Morale Oversight: 'The Clown'
Incident:
Walmart’s EBT policy is a 30-day cooldown — as if updating your own food money card is a top-secret mission requiring Pentagon clearance.
Field Observation:
Credit card? Instant approval.
Debit card? Approved faster than you can blink.
EBT card? Denied. Return in 30 days, peasant.
From The Peanut Commentary: (Boris Thuginski laughs)
Mrs. Catford:
“This isn’t protection. It’s a chokehold.”
Mr. Catford:
“They built a wall, then locked the hungry outside.”
Jerry, "The Ankle Biter" Silverhand:
“Oh, Walmart, you process debt in seconds but survival in months. Not security — just selective incompetence.”
The Clown’s Verdict:
Still laughing, muttering “Thirty… days…!!” like it’s the funniest punchline of 2025.
Conclusion:
Security? No.
Profit? Yes.
And they’ll smile while doing it.
#WalmartFail #EBT #FoodInsecurity #CorporateGreed #BureaucraticBullshit #DeptOfPettyAffairs #CatfordApproved #GlitchOS #PovertyPenalty`