R.A.B.B. Entry #104 — The Metric of Missed Minutes
There’s a strange, unwritten law in public transit: your time is infinitely flexible, theirs is sacred.
- If you’re one minute late? You’re irresponsible, unreliable, maybe even “holding up the whole route.”
- If they are ten, twenty, forty minutes late? That’s “just the system,” and you should have planned better—as if we all own a crystal ball with perfect real-time bus data.
The absurdity? Transit schedules are printed, posted, and plastered online as if they’re gospel… yet the actual buses treat them like polite suggestions. Meanwhile, the people relying on them are juggling jobs, interviews, appointments, or just trying to get home before their groceries thaw into soup.
And when you ask why—oh, there’s always a metric to explain it. “Traffic delays.” “Operational adjustments.” “Weather impact.” None of these metrics account for the human cost: lost wages, missed connections, and the sheer stress of wondering if your ride is actually coming or if you’ve been ghosted by a 30-foot diesel ex.
Jerry (Dept. of Petty Affairs):
“Look, just because I can take being stranded in the rain like a soggy raccoon doesn’t mean I want to. But sure—let’s pretend these schedules mean something other than ‘good luck, sucker’.”
Mrs. Catford:
Adjusts her fur with disdain. “Timeliness is elegance. If you can’t arrive on time, at least arrive in shame.”
Mr. Catford:
Squints from under his tail. “One day, I’m gonna bite a tire.”
The Clown:
Laughs until the laughter stops abruptly. “You think they’re late? Oh no… they’re right on time—for them.”