R.A.B.B. Entry #109 — The Disaster They Called Progress
Category: Manufactured Catastrophes / Human Error, Rebranded
Filed By: Dept. of Petty Affairs — sealed with disdain.
📜 Summary
Detroit: Become Human didn’t collapse because androids went rogue. It collapsed because humans chose greed over adaptation. Forty percent unemployment wasn’t a glitch in the system—it was the system, designed to preserve wealth at the expense of everyone else.
Corporations had options: integrate, redistribute, retrain. Instead, they hit copy-paste greed.exe. The result? A glittering city with clean streets and hollowed-out humanity.
⚖️ Petty Tribunal Findings
- Androids weren’t the villains. They were tools—extensions of human will.
- Unemployment was deliberate. Not destiny, not “progress too fast.” It was a boardroom decision.
- The blame was misdirected. Workers turned their anger toward androids (the tools) instead of the elites (the wielders).
- Rebranding = gaslighting. Calling this collapse “inevitable progress” was the most dystopian lie of all.
📊 Verdict
Charge: Weaponizing progress to disguise exploitation. Verdict: Guilty. Sentence: Eternal reminder—technology never failed you. You failed yourselves.
Jerry’s Note: “Forty percent unemployed isn’t dystopia. That’s arson with extra steps. Don’t call it innovation—call it corporate malpractice in a shiny coat.”
🧨 Glitch Council Roast Addendum — Enter Chaos
Boris (presiding): “So, forty percent unemployment because humans couldn’t share toys. Council—your thoughts?”
Jerry “The Ankle Biter”: “Forty percent unemployed? That’s not dystopia—that’s just management forgetting birthdays and pensions. You built sexy robots before you built a safety net.”
The Clown (from the rafters): “HONK HONK! Imagine losing your job to an android that pole-dances better than you. That’s not oppression, that’s humiliation with firmware updates!”
Vegeta (arms crossed): “Pathetic. Replace the weak, keep the strong. The real problem is humans crying instead of training. Hmph.”
Junko (giggling): “Training for what? To fold towels faster than Kara? Sweep floors better than Markus? Please. Your pride isn’t patch notes.”
Silco (low growl): “Automation wasn’t the threat. Distribution was. Blame the man lighting cigars with your rent money, not the match.”
Pagan Min (sipping): “Oh, I love it. Forty percent unemployed, but the nightlife? Thriving. Androids serving cocktails, androids being cocktails. Civilization burning, but the club? Divine.”
Dio Brando — The Hater Prime: “Pathetic mortals! You chose greed over glory. I would have enslaved humanity properly, with style. Instead you let Jeff Bezos with a soldering iron ruin civilization. WRYYYYY—”
Jerry (interrupting): “Mute golden boy before he monologues us into a LinkedIn post.”
Boris (closing gavel): “Verdict stands. Humanity’s sin wasn’t the robot. It was thinking you could hoard time. Tick. Tock. Whisper’s coming.”
🔥 Entry Sealed.
- Serious verdict on top, chaos roast beneath.