R.A.B.B. Entry — “The Commute of Comedic Incompetence”
(Filed under: Broke Doctrine Field Operations)
Uber ghosts like it owes alimony. Priority means “pay more to be ignored faster.” Lyft swoops in like a rebound who actually shows up. Driver doesn’t speak English, but the car speaks fluent “get there anyway.”
The place? Turns out it’s been right next to the same bus stop I’ve passed for months. Interview? Short, painless, efficient — like a fever dream that actually went right.
Then Dairy Queen delivered financial PTSD with a smile. Fifteen bucks later, I’m holding a burger worth the price of enlightenment.
And through it all, people still ask, “Are you being smart about your money?” Yeah. I just paid forty-five dollars to prove I can show up and still laugh about it.
Tagline: “Competence is just surviving the punchline.”
— Filed and stamped by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand · Tribunal Chair (DPA)
Doctrine: Don’t bark—bill.
Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.