R.A.B.B. — The Syrup Caddie Conundrum
IHOP could’ve just slid me an extra packet.
One. Simple. Packet.
But nooo… corporate had a meeting, a flowchart, a PowerPoint presentation, and someone in a suit said:
“Gentlemen, what if we… invented… the syrup caddie?” 🤡
Now here I am, post-shift, furnace-burned, fork in hand, and instead of tearing open packets like a civilized gremlin,
I’m staring at a table centerpiece of diabetes.
Four glass grenades of maple cosplay, lined up like Power Rangers waiting for roll call.
I don’t need Maple Red, Butter Yellow, Blueberry Blue, Strawberry Red #2.
I just need to drown these pancakes and get back to plotting the Rat Empire in peace.
Syrup caddie? Nah.
That’s just IHOP’s way of saying:
“We think breakfast should feel like church.”