🦝 Raccoon Reconciliation Simulator: Steam Mock-up
Genre: Cozy Chaos · Wildlife Diplomacy · Snack-Based Negotiation
Developer: Dept. of Petty Affairs Studios
Publisher: The Glitch Council
Release Date: TBD (Depends on raccoon cooperation)
🧴 About This Game
You’re not a hero. You’re not a ranger. You’re just a barefoot human standing in the moonlight, holding a spray bottle, trying to keep raccoons from electrocuting themselves on the neighbor’s AC unit.
In Raccoon Reconciliation Simulator, every night is a diplomatic mission. Spray to correct. Feed to forgive. Negotiate peace between humanity and the gods of garbage — one Slim Jim at a time.
🎮 Features
🦝 Realistic Wildlife Diplomacy: Engage in heartfelt negotiations with raccoons, possums, and the occasional judgmental stray cat.
💦 Spray Bottle Physics: Each mist has weight, guilt, and moral consequence.
🍖 Jerky-Based Economy: Beef jerky, weiners, and dog kibble form the backbone of interspecies peace.
🌕 Dynamic Trust System: One wrong spray and you’re back at square one; one right snack and you earn eternal respect (for about three seconds).
🗺️ Open-Alley Exploration: Wander backyards, forests, and parking lots — all equally holy grounds of trash diplomacy.
🐷 Trash-Pig Companion Mode: Recruit the local trash pig for morale support, emergency rations, and emotional damage control.
🕊️ Zen Ending: Achieve perfect harmony when no raccoons hiss, no cans fall, and the world smells faintly of wet asphalt and redemption.
🧠 Early Access Roadmap
- “Soggy Snack Patch” — introduce rain physics and damp jerky diplomacy.
- “Dumpster Heist Update” — optional co-op mission with local trash-panda gang.
- “The Possum Accord” — moral expansion pack where everything plays dead, including you.
💬 Community Reviews
“I thought it was a joke, but now I wave at raccoons like diplomats.” ★★★★★
“10/10 — accidentally cried when the raccoon accepted my apology jerky.”
“Spray bottle physics are too realistic. My cat is now unionizing.”
“You can’t save them all. But you can feed a few and make peace with the night.”
— Gremlin Risitas · Wildlife Ambassador of the Trash Verse