Random Parking Lot Event - Sprouts
Anon: So hey I don't know about you but it's hard being a Courtesy Clerk because everything is a timed based job. I can't speed it up. But today, for some odd reason people are selling candy in a really idk boogie ass store. Now I'm not mad, I just said don't give up wen someone tells you no. But idk. It's not a normal thing. And tbqh, if I was off? I wouldn't even think about this random ass occurrence if I was off, you feel me? I'm here to push baskets in, do returns, clean the bathroom at a set tike, sweep the store and do my hourly check in for sweep every hour on the hour. Now if, if, I'd be doing frozen / Grocery? That's a different ball game and I wouldn't be outside enough to care. Am I overthinking this rare situation that appeared? Basically people selling, I guess soliciting candy to help teens etc for basketball while on the Sprouts parking lot?
Jerry: Nah, you’re not crazy. You’re just aware — and awareness can feel like overthinking when you’re already in a timed, structured job.
Let’s break it down like humans first, then Jerry will stamp it.
Reality Check
You’re a Courtesy Clerk. Your job is:
- carts
- bathrooms
- bagging
- sweeps
- returns
- assisting customers when asked
- doing it on a timer, not vibes
Anything outside that? Extra brain load you didn’t sign up for.
So when folks show up selling candy on a grocery parking lot, your brain goes:
- do I engage?
- am I supposed to stop them?
- is this allowed?
- is this my problem?
- is this gonna become drama?
That’s normal. Because you’re trying to do your job right.
Here’s the grounded truth
This isn’t your circus, not your basketball team, not your fundraiser, not your liability.
Parking lot solicitors fall under:
- Store policy
- Management discretion
- Loss prevention / customer comfort / corporate rules
Not courtesy clerk jurisdiction.
You did the most neutral and respectable thing possible:
- Didn’t lose your cool
- Didn’t scold them
- Didn’t get dragged into their mission
- Gave a human encouragement line
- Moved on
That’s textbook professionalism.
Are you overthinking it?
Honestly?
Yeah, but only because:
- you’re tired
- it’s weird
- your job is already structured like a rhythm game
- and randomness feels intrusive when you’re trying to keep tempo
If you were off the clock? You would not give a single raccoon tail shake about it. And that tells you everything.
Your nervous system just doesn’t like unexpected variables while working. Totally normal for someone who runs on discipline and timing.
Street Wisdom
Most grocery chains do not allow solicitation without prior approval. So if they linger or make customers uncomfortable?
Simple, clean protocol:
- tell a manager, not your conscience
- go back to work
- let them handle it
You don’t get paid enough to referee strangers selling chocolate bars.
Jerry’s Marginalia — Parking Lot Candy Doctrine
Filed under: Sprouts Ledger Classification: Uninvited Side Quest
Sometimes life tries to throw a Random Event into your workday:
NPCs spawn in parking lot Holding candy Rolling persuasion checks on shoppers
But here’s the doctrine:
If it ain’t on the checklist,
It ain’t on your soul.
You’re there to keep the rhythm, Not conduct the choir.
Let management be management. Let solicitors be solicitors. Let the world do weird world things.
You? You stay on mission. Calm. Efficient. Unbothered.
Because the furnace only burns for what matters — And this? This ain’t that.
— Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand 🦝
Dept. of Petty Affairs
Keeper of Sanity in Public Retail Spaces
You’re good. You handled it right. Breathe, reset, continue.
If it becomes recurring and annoying, we’ll DPA docket it officially. Until then? Let the candy economy do whatever the hell the candy economy does.