Rat Empire Doctrine — “The Triple Rat Loop”
The hum of old phones charging in the dark sounds almost like a machine breathing. Kajira stands over the lineup—three glowing screens, three rats waiting to clock in. One grinds, one reboots, one enforces. Together, they keep the Empire fed.
“People call it multitasking,” she says, dragging on her cigar. “I call it payroll.”
Phase I — The Grinder Rat
Level slow. Farm Fabres. Stack dust. This one’s not here for glory—just quiet accumulation. Backpack fills, vault swells, and the Fabre flow becomes the Empire’s bloodstream.
Phase II — The Rebooted Archer
When the Grinder caps, the loop restarts. Delete. Recreate. Rebirth. An archer rat rises from the ashes—same name, sharper aim, faster profits. The irony? Every reboot pays for itself before the tutorial’s over.
Phase III — The Enforcer Rat (Bless Your Heart)
The collector, the closer, the cleaner. This rat doesn’t farm—he liquidates. Moves dust, clears stock, turns everything into crystal or coin. His name might sound polite, but he’s the IRS with whiskers.
Kajira exhales, watching the smoke twist into a shape that looks suspiciously like a zeny coin. “Three rats, one empire. No downtime. No debt. No mercy.”
The lights fade, only the hum remains. And somewhere in the vault, the sound of coins keeps purring.
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- Filed and stamped by Jerry “The Ankle Biter” Silverhand, Tribunal Chair (DPA) —
- Doctrine: Don’t bark—bill.
- Motto: I don’t flex, I calculate.