The Will to Resist

🛐 Saturday Morning Scriptures - Part IV: Lessons From the Failed & Forgotten

“When even bad cartoons tried to teach something before they collapsed under their own cringe.”

There are cartoons that succeeded despite the odds. And then there are shows that faceplanted with moral intent. They wanted to do good. Be wholesome. Teach kids.

And somehow still ended up in the bargain bin of memory.

But we watched them. We remember them. And that means… they matter.

Let’s give them one final lesson plan.

😭 Caillou “The Gospel of Entitled Softboy Energy”

Bald.

Four years old.

Whined like it was a profession.

Rarely got corrected.

This wasn’t a show—it was a threat to parenting norms.

And yet? There was something holy in it. Because Caillou taught us:

“Not every protagonist is a hero. Some are warnings.”

Kids learned from Caillou. Parents? They learned to mute Caillou.

🧢 Yo Yogi! “The Gospel of Forced Relevance”

Take Yogi Bear. Make him a teenager. Give him rollerblades, a detective badge, and a bad attitude. Now add neon. And crime-fighting. And call it… relevant?

This was hello fellow kids.exe, animated.

But beneath the cringe?

A glimpse into corporate panic. A sign of the times.

Yogi taught us:

“Trying too hard to be cool will always backfire.” And, “Let your legacy rest. Not everything needs a reboot.”

👶 Little Shop (The Cartoon) “The Gospel of Sanitized Sin”

A people-eating plant made cute. Horror turned into after-school mischief. Audrey II became Junior, and suddenly he’s your sarcastic plant sidekick instead of a man-eating nightmare.

This show wasn’t bad— It was neutered.

And that taught us:

“Watering down your truth to be accepted is the real tragedy.” “Some monsters are meant to stay monstrous.”

Final Sermon:

These weren’t the worst cartoons. They were the almosts. The "you had something, but you flinched." The moral was there. The delivery just… stuttered.

But that makes them important. Because even failure teaches. Even cringe corrects.

And deep in the VHS tomb, they whisper:

“We tried. We didn’t make it. But we left a lesson in our wreckage.”

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