The Will to Resist

The Art of Being Peachy Keen While Telling Everyone to Mind Their Own Damn Business

A Boris Doctrine — Personal Boundaries, Unsolicited Questions & The Fine Art of Not Explaining Yourself

There's something peculiar about people.

You can be perfectly pleasant, enjoy a conversation, exchange pleasantries, laugh at a joke, and generally conduct yourself like a functioning member of society.

But the moment you decide not to discuss your personal life, suddenly you've become a mystery that requires investigation.

"Why are you so quiet?"

"Why don't you open up?"

"Why don't you talk about what's bothering you?"

Well, Dorothy, because I don't particularly feel like turning my personal life into a community-sponsored documentary.

And apparently, that's confusing.

The Peachy Keen Philosophy

I've decided that my default disposition is going to be peachy keen.

Not because everything is wonderful. Not because life is perfect. Not because I don't have problems.

But because I don't believe every person I encounter needs a guided tour of my emotional infrastructure.

I can have a bad day and still smile.

I can have personal struggles and still enjoy a conversation.

I can experience anxiety, depression, frustration, disappointment, or any number of life's wonderful little inconveniences without issuing a public statement.

Sometimes I'm just having a Tuesday.

And sometimes Tuesday can go screw itself.

The Unsolicited Interrogation

Here's where things become interesting.

You politely decline to discuss something.

They ask why.

You explain that you're a private person.

They ask why you're so closed off.

You explain that you simply don't want to discuss it.

They ask why you don't trust people.

Congratulations! You've accidentally enrolled in an interrogation you never signed up for.

There's a fundamental difference between showing concern and demanding access.

Concern says, "I'm here if you need someone."

Entitlement says, "Explain why you won't let me in."

One respects boundaries.

The other tries to negotiate them.

Enter Form 47-B

According to the Department of Petty Affairs, Form 47-B, Section 9, Subsection Bravo officially establishes:

"I don't have to always open myself up to strangers I just met."

Furthermore, the department recognizes the following approved responses:

Repeated questioning may result in immediate reassignment to the nearest available conversation about the weather.

Appeals will not be considered.

The Open Book Policy

Here's something worth remembering.

Not every chapter of your life needs an audience.

Some pages are private.

Some chapters are unfinished.

Some stories aren't meant for public consumption.

And some readers haven't earned the privilege of turning the page.

Trust isn't automatically granted because somebody asks questions.

It's built through consistency, respect, patience, and time.

You don't have to be hostile. You don't have to be rude. You don't even have to explain yourself.

You can simply change the subject.

Or, if necessary:

"Hey, look at the time! I've got somewhere to be. Talk to you, never!"

Final Thoughts: Peachy Keen Doesn't Mean Open Season

I'm not advocating shutting everyone out.

I'm advocating having a little control over what you share, when you share it, and with whom.

You can be friendly without being transparent.

You can be cheerful without being carefree.

You can be private without being mysterious.

And you can be perfectly happy without providing everyone with a detailed explanation of why.

So smile, enjoy your day, have your coffee, pet your cat, and mind your own business.

Because sometimes the healthiest response to an uncomfortable question is simply:

"I'm good, thanks for asking."

And that's the end of the discussion.

— Boris

With editorial assistance from Jerry 'The Ankle-Biter' Silverhand, Department of Petty Affairs.

Official Disclaimer: The Department accepts no responsibility for wounded egos, unsolicited follow-up questions, or individuals who mistake personal boundaries for a personal attack.