The Gremlin Clause — First Serving
Gremlin Resitas — Five-Course Pettiness
The Gremlin stacked five silver trays high—forks polished, plates steaming. He leaned over the mob, grin wide:
“You beat me for speaking polite. So I brought you dinner— five courses of your own pettiness, plated, seasoned, and garnished with my middle finger.”
Jerry (narrating):
The crowd thought they’d broken him. But he came back as a maître d’ of malice— feeding them their own bile, and making them thank him for the service.
The Gremlin licked the spoon, dropped it back in the soup, and vanished with a cackle.
Weaponized Petty — Entry I: The Smile That Stuck
They won’t recall the words. They won’t recall their own fury.
They’ll remember me smiling— because nothing unsettles pettiness more than realizing it never broke me.
The Gremlin Clause
- Stay in your lane = untouched.
- Cross it = cackled on, smoted, or served five-course petty.
- No energy wasted on bystanders.
- No fucks given to background noise.
In other words, as Jerry looks at the viewer: I’m not here for random drama. I only act when you cross me. And if you do, I’ll either clown you, smote you, or smile while serving you your own bullshit. So stay the fuck in your lane.
Forecast Appendix: Who Crosses the Clause
The 90% Who Cross
The Curious Pokers - Test once, get clawed, limp back wiser.
The Bold Idiots - Know the warning, cross anyway—become chalk outlines.
The Chronic Crossers - Think persistence breaks the Gremlin. Instead, they become buffets of humiliation until erased.
The 10% Who Stay in Their Lane
The Smart Observers - Learn from others’ mistakes, stay quiet, smirk from the sidelines.
The Respectful Few - Understand peace, never cross, leave with dignity intact.
Jerry (forecasting, robe swaying):
“The Clause isn’t a threat. It’s a menu. Ninety percent order humiliation. Ten percent leave with dignity. The Gremlin doesn’t chase— but if you step into his kitchen, you’re getting served.”
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