Until One Stop Laughing...
Polite Execution: The Crown Audit (Public Edition)
Book of Boris – Dept. of Petty Affairs
The Scene
(Hand on shoulder.)
“So you swerved off into my lane. I gave you warning. Now I’m going to yank that little crown off your head. Step on it.”
(Stamps the ground. Looks at an invisible watch.)
“I promise you this takes a bit longer. So bear with me.”
(Still looking at his watch.)
“You know the loading time on this is pretty slow. It’s been working off of Windows XP.”
(Makes up a “Ding.”)
“Ah yes. I’m going to pick it up, dust it off, and hand it back to you. With a smile.”
The Aftermath (Public)
Everyone saw the crown leave their head. Everyone saw it pass through your hands. And everyone saw you smile while returning it. That changes the script forever:
Hierarchy Shift: Even if you gave it back, the room knows whose grip it really fit in.
Waiting Game: They stood in your loading screen. Everyone else stood with them, restless, embarrassed for them.
Return with Courtesy: You didn’t destroy them, you “helped.” But courtesy cuts deeper—because the kindness feels patronizing.
The crown looks the same when it’s back on their head, but to the room it now looks lighter, cheaper, already claimed.
Result: Reputation shift. They walk away intact, but publicly diminished. The smile marks the verdict.
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