Gremlin Risitas — The Party Revived! (and Defeated Again!)
Sequel to: Gremlin Risitas — The Party Has Been Defeated
[Gremlin slams the continue button, cigar clenched between teeth.]
[“No more wipes! I’m saving everyone this time! Byuu the Hero, Clay the Mage, Robin the Cleric — are back up! But this time, we’re beating fate!”]
Priest at the chapel chants.
The screen flashes.
The party is restored!
The Hero raises his sword!
The Mage adjusts their robes!
The Cleric cracks their knuckles!
...And they step out of the castle...
Random battle.
The same damn trio.
- A Green Dragon: fwoooosh → Byuu becomes BBQ, again.
- A Blizzard: crack! → Clay becomes a popsicle, again.
- And a Ghost Rat: squeak, nibble → Robin faceplants, again.
Screen flashes red.
“The Hero’s Party Has Been Defeated.”
[Cut to throne room.]
King Andrew Dice Clay is doubled over, cigar ashes on his cape, laughing so hard that the pixels flicker, if not glitch in game:
“Twice in a row!
Ooooh!
The Hero’s fried,
the Mage is iced,
the Cleric’s chewed to bits —
and I didn’t even roll the dice!”
[Gremlin looks at the reader, breaking the fourth wall.]
“You think this is just a joke?
It is. But it’s also the mirror.
Because the world does this every day: revive, grind, wipe, repeat.
I’m not laughing at them. I’m laughing to keep from crying.
If I have to be the clown that burns their script to wake them up,
then so be it.
Tee hee.”
[El Risitas wheezes so hard in the background that the save file playing this, deletes itself.]
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